Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
