walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
