We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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