So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
