I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
