No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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