I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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