he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize