you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
The best revenge is premature balding
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
