I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Boobs are out for the taking
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
