Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
