Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
