508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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