i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she peed on how many people?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
