This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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