Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
do herpes really smell.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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