she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
