apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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