Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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