In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
