fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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