Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
why do cheetos always look like penises
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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