Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
