If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
