Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
