I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
