Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize