Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
