Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
