So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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