i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
