he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
