My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
