No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
