So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
