fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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