Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
