a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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