Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
It's just like the Real World with babies
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
