My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
