When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
