What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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