he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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