Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
