i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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