I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
