you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
