Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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