i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
