We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
