Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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