Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
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