i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
