At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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