can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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