yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
