Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize