based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
