why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
