That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This baby is an asshole
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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