S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
