you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Dick very happy bro
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize