and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
