were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
