you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
