I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
