I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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