I don't think brook has ever known best
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
