I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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