Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
