You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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