mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
