why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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