I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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